Family Therapy
Do You And Your Family Feel Disconnected From Each Other?
Are you and your loved ones dealing with constant misunderstanding? Do you have trouble parenting or working together with your partner? Maybe you feel burnt out from caring for your kids because your spouse isn’t contributing. Perhaps you’ve been so busy providing for your family that you don’t have any time for self-care. In spite of all your efforts, you may feel like something is missing in your family—although you love them, the warmth and connection just isn’t there.
Raising a family is complicated. You may see patterns from your childhood family getting acted out in your current one. If you or your spouse were raised in a house with outdated gender roles, those roles may have carried over into your family dynamics today. Or maybe you’re not even sure what the root of your family’s issues are. You simply find yourselves isolated from each other and living in constant misunderstanding.
Overcoming old habits and ingrained patterns in your family isn’t easy. On your own, you and your loved ones probably find yourselves falling into the same arguments and conflicts day after day without ever resolving anything. That’s why it’s important to seek help. With my warm, compassionate approach to family therapy, you can work through your differences, uncover hidden patterns, and feel loved and connected again.
The Family As We Know It Is Evolving And Many Parents Aren’t Sure How To Keep Up
Today, families face more challenges than ever before. And since our perception of the family unit has evolved over time, the strategies for communication and conflict-solving our parents used do not always work anymore. For instance, because there is so much more awareness around mental health, kids tend to present more complex emotional needs. They may struggle with issues that their parents didn’t even have a name for. And with the growth of LGBTQ+ rights, more and more kids are coming out as queer and trans. While these developments signal a brighter future for children, many parents aren’t sure how to address the unique and often unfamiliar needs that their kids have.
Additionally, we as a culture have been taught to neglect and ignore our own needs. Many of us have been taught to put others’ desires before our own at all times. Mothers, especially, are expected to invest all their emotional strength into the lives of others instead of themselves. As a result, self-care is often frowned upon or looked at as vainglorious and selfish. Even though this attitude is waning in our society, it is still prevalent in many families where traditional values were the norm.
Between outdated expectations and other societal pressures, most families have their cards stacked against them. In order to go beyond limiting perspectives and open your eyes to new ways of solving conflict, it’s essential to seek a trained, compassionate family therapist.
Therapy Can Help You And Your Family Come To Love Each Other In A New Way
There’s a part of you that may ask: What’s the need for family therapy? After all, only one person in my household needs help. Why do we all have to come? Even if you feel that only one person in your family is causing problems, I would still encourage you to try therapy together. Individual issues are family issues. You may not be responsible for another person’s struggles, but you can still learn healthier ways to respond to their difficulties and provide support. In this way, therapy is a chance to build new skills as individuals and as a family.
During the intake process, I will generally meet with you and your family together. This allows me to gain an understanding of your family dynamics as a whole and help you get a feel for our sessions going forward. At the same time, it’s important to know that the treatment plan is customizable depending on your needs. My goal is to accommodate you in whatever way possible. For instance, if there are things you want to tell me about your children (e.g., developmental issues) but don’t feel comfortable sharing in their presence, you are welcome to have an individual session with me.
In counseling together, I will help you and your loved ones explore past traumas, intergenerational patterns, and parenting styles that you may have repeated from your own parents. I want to help you uncover the underlying issues beneath your conflicts so that you can enhance your awareness of each other’s needs. This will allow you to understand where each family member is coming from and build empathy for each other.
Additionally, I want you to learn to maintain healthier boundaries and greater accountability. If you feel like you’re running yourself ragged trying to care for your children singlehandedly, therapy will help you and your spouse figure out how to share parenting responsibilities more evenly. My goal is for you to meet the needs of others while also meeting your own needs.
For children, I often use play therapy to help them explore their emotions and improve their self-awareness. After all, kids often have trouble expressing themselves in words. Play is their natural language, enabling them to communicate their feelings and share their story with ease. Although I offer a space for play, my goal is for you to recreate that environment of safety and experience of exploration outside the office for your kids.
The basic approach underlying my work is called Family Systems Theory (FST). At its core, the idea behind FST is that every individual issue impacts the family unit as a whole. A family’s problems are never the fault of just one person. For instance, if your child is acting out, your instinctive response may be: “My child is being difficult.” Instead of defaulting to this line of thinking, the Family Systems approach will help you take a closer look at your child’s needs and ask: is the family meeting those needs?
Above all, it’s important to remember that conflict is not a sign of failure. Each conflict is a sign that someone has a need. By understanding the root causes of each member’s struggles, you can improve communication, resolve arguments more effectively, and come to love each other in a new way.
You may have some concerns about family and parenting counseling…
We have too many individual issues for therapy. All our needs seem to be in conflict.
Family challenges can be overwhelming, but everything becomes much simpler when you understand the unaddressed needs that give rise to conflict. Tending to those needs can change how you respond to and navigate disagreements. In this way, you don’t all have to be on the same page when you come to counseling. The fact that your needs and goals are different is normal and expected.
Only one person in my family really needs therapy.
You are not responsible for someone else’s issues, but you are responsible for how you react to them. Everyone in your family has a role to play. The family system can only improve when the entire family begins to take new strategies for caring for themselves and one another. This way, everyone in the family can grow through the process of family therapy.
My kids don’t listen. Therapy won’t help them.
No child wants to sit in a chair listening to an adult speak for long periods of time. In family counseling, they don’t have to. Play therapy is a way to let kids express themselves in a way that is comfortable for them. If they have trouble listening or paying attention, play will help calm them down and enable them to stay more focused during sessions.
Renew The Love And Connection In Your Home
If you and your loved ones are struggling to connect with each other, I am confident that I can help you work through your differences. Therapy is a time to come together and explore new ideas for parenting, balancing your needs, and resolving conflict. To get started, you can email me or call me at 720-378-6555 for a free, 30-minute phone consultation.
Nic is currently accepting new clients and sessions are offered in-person or using a HIPPA compliant online video platform.
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