Counseling for Men
Are You A Man Who’s Frustrated By Society’s Expectations?
Does it seem like you always have to prove your worth through your job and success? Are you overly concerned with what others think of you? Do you wish you could move beyond cultural expectations for what a man should be, but you’re not sure how?
Maybe you’re so used to hiding your emotions and putting on a façade of strength that you’re not sure how to express yourself. Your struggle to communicate your real wants and needs could be making you feel lonely and disconnected. The expectation is that you shouldn’t want intimate relationships—you’re supposed to like drinking, sex, and sports, not sharing your feelings. But maybe this isn’t the case with you—you long for more.
Additionally, perhaps you long to understand the wants and needs of others. In a world where racism, sexism, and discrimination of all kinds are topics everyone is being called to engage in, maybe you feel unable to relate to people who are different from you. As much as you want to understand their experiences, it’s as if you’ve been taught to ignore that desire. Empathy is not a man’s thing, society seems to whisper.
As strong as you may appear on the outside, you may be genuinely struggling for answers. You may find it impossible to slow down, relax, and release your tension and stress. If this is the case, then I would be honored to work with you. Counseling for men can help you free yourself from unhealthy expectations and enjoy deep, fulfilling relationships.
Men In Today’s World Are Often Taught To Be Tough, Emotionless, And Obsessed With Success
Being a man in today’s world is complicated. Our society teaches men that our worth is dependent on how much we produce and accomplish and that we are only worthy of love when we are successful. Relationships are supposed to be secondary to success. We are expected to be tough, non-emotional, and hyper-sexual. We don’t ask for help and we don’t show weakness.
For many of us, however, this way of life is not only toxic, but unfulfilling. The idea of being an emotionless provider who shows neither passion nor creativity not only bores us, but makes us feel empty. This is a healthy sign—it shows we are ready to live a more authentic and fulfilling life.
On your own, however, it’s harder than it seems to live independently of prevailing social norms. These expectations are hardwired into you, and there is so much pressure from society—and in some cases even family and friends—not to change. That’s why accountability is so important. Even if you have all the skills and knowledge needed to pursue life on your own terms, having someone you can regularly check in with makes it easier to learn, grow, and discover what it means to be authentically you.
Counseling For Men Is A Chance To Release Inner Tension And Get In Touch With Who You Really Are
Let’s be honest: letting your guard down and sharing your feelings can be intimidating. It’s easier to hide behind a veil of strength than it is to say how you really feel. Thankfully, in men’s counseling, you don’t have to worry about expressing yourself the wrong way. This is a chance to let go of societal expectations and share what you truly want out of life without any fear of judgment.
In sessions together, you and I will discuss any unfulfilling areas of your life and identify the patterns and beliefs that have kept you feeling stuck. For instance, maybe you have a tendency to self-isolate when you feel down. You may tell yourself: If I’m vulnerable and show who I really am, I’ll be rejected and unwanted. To interrupt such patterns, I will help you explore the deeper meaning behind those thoughts and build skills to communicate your needs effectively. I believe you are the expert on your own life, so I want you to tell me what skills work for you and what ones don’t. My role is simply to point you back to your own power and cultivate a sense of accountability on our journey together.
As important as personal growth is, however, constantly striving to improve can increase your stress and cause you to miss what’s important in life. I want you to be able to move from doing to being. Rather than getting hung up on success and trying to live at a thousand miles per hour, I will help you learn to be still, release inner tension, and get in touch with your body. To do so, I often utilize mindfulness skills like deep breathing, meditation, and body-awareness exercises. The purpose of these strategies is to help you reconnect with the parts of yourself you’ve been trained to ignore and grow more in-tune with the feelings that society has told you to discard.
Additionally, I want you to increase your self-acceptance and develop a greater sense of self-worth. My goal is to help you build an unconditional friendliness to yourself independent of your wealth, success, or relationships. This will allow you to feel more grounded in your own body and comfortable with feelings you may not have been comfortable with before.
What’s more, building trust and confidence in yourself can make it easier to build empathy for others. Being secure in who you are makes you feel less preoccupied with your own issues, allowing you to care for and invest in others who may not share the same circumstances as you. You will be able to learn about where they’re coming from and increase your awareness of their struggles for justice without taking any of it personally.
Many men suffer from unhealthy societal expectations that encourage them to hide their deeper emotional wounds and ignore the plight of others. Few men admit that they are unsatisfied or that another life is possible. If you are one of the few who can admit this, then you are already on the road to healing and growth. Working together, I am confident that I can help you connect to your own inner power, break free of restrictive cultural barriers, and become more authentically you.
You may have some questions and concerns about counseling for men…
I don’t see the point of therapy. I feel like I could accomplish all this on my own.
You’re not wrong—you probably could do most of the healing and growth on your own. But the trouble is that no matter how hard you work or how intelligent you are, you are still limited by the constraints of your own perspective. Therapy for men is a chance to get honest, heart-to-heart feedback from someone who is invested in your well-being and can help you broaden your perspective in ways you never thought possible.
I’m only responsible for a small part of the problems in my life. How could individual counseling help?
Yes, most of your issues are probably co-created and you are not directly responsible for them. Even so, the more you focus on doing your own work and meeting your own needs, the greater chance you have of resolving the part you play in the equation. Men’s counseling will help you decipher what you are responsible for and what you aren’t, allowing you to think and act more decisively when issues arise.
Toxic masculinity is not an issue for me and I don’t think all of society’s problems are because of men.
I believe you are the expert on your own life and that you know what issues in your life need addressing. I also believe that your needs aren’t dependent on what society says. While there are forms of masculinity that certainly can be toxic, toxic masculinity is not some catch-all term for every problem men face. There are forms of masculinity that are healthy. But if you’re reading this page, there’s probably something in your life that is worth seeking guidance and support for—even if it isn’t related to toxic masculinity.
Free Yourself From Cultural Barriers And Become More Authentically You
If you’re a man struggling to figure out who you are apart from all the societal messages bombarding you, therapy can help you increase your self-confidence and become more comfortable in your own unique identity. To get started, you can email me or call me at 720-378-6555 for a free, 30-minute phone consultation.
Nic is currently accepting new clients and sessions are offered in-person or using a HIPPA compliant online video platform.
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